Adoption can be an overwhelmingly positive experience for the adopted child and parents. There can also be adoption trauma. Both can be true.
As adoptive parents, you can prepare for the possibility of adoption trauma and how to help your child. Our experienced Texas adoption lawyers explain.
Defining Adoption Trauma
Adoption trauma is the negative emotion and reaction that a person may have because of the adoption process. It is the negative impact of the experience of adoption.
If your child experiences adoption trauma, that doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Even if you do everything right, adoption trauma can still occur. Adoption trauma reflects the big life change of adoption and its impact.
Recognizing the possibility of adoption trauma and assisting your child with coping skills can help your child process feelings and build emotional strength.
Adoption is a big life change. While experiencing trauma is normal, there are important things you can do to help your child.
Understanding Trauma
The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to a negative event. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health defines it as the lasting emotional response of experiencing a distressing event.
Trauma is the lasting effect of living through something unusual or troubling. It can be the result of physical harm or the risk of physical danger. It can also be the result of a mental or emotionally upsetting experience.
Causes of Adoption Trauma
Adoption trauma has several causes. These causes are often complex and interrelated.
- Separation from birth parents—Children naturally look to their birth parents for care, protection, and love. Separation may inhibit secure attachment early in life.
- Loss of identity—An adopted person may feel separated from their identity.
- Cultural—Adoptees may be moved from their native culture, including language, race, and customs.
- Institutionalized care—If a child lived in institutionalized care, they may not have had personal needs met.
- Lack of information—They may not know their family history, cultural information, or medical history.
- Perceived lack of sensitivity—The child may hear people say they should feel lucky to be adopted. Feelings and emotions about adoption may not be validated, which can cause additional pain.
- Other harm—A child who is adopted may have experienced abuse and neglect. This trauma may co-occur with adoption trauma.
Trauma can impact the nervous system and development at a young age.
Signs of Adoption Trauma in Children
Adoption trauma can manifest itself physically, behaviorally, mentally, and emotionally. Signs of adoption trauma may include the following:
- Being quiet or “well behaved”—A child who does not vocalize needs may have a history of not having their needs met.
- Depression—Feelings of hopelessness may result.
- Anxiety—A child may internalize feelings of stress and worry.
- Withdrawn—The child may show a reluctance to participate socially.
- Behavior—A child may fail to follow rules at school, or their behavior may include cultural differences that are not well understood by others.
- Somatic symptoms—Medical symptoms without an underlying cause, such as pain, headaches, skin conditions, or nervous behavior, may arise.
- Relationship difficulties—It may be difficult for a child to form relationships or see interpersonal relationships as beneficial.
How To Address Adoption Trauma
Addressing adoption trauma starts with recognizing it. Learning about it can start a path to healing. Accept that adoption trauma is normal and is not a reflection of you or your child.
Even though you can’t fully understand how your child feels, you can approach the situation from an informed place and sympathy.
The entire family may benefit from therapy and intervention. The family can learn about adoption trauma, and the child can voice what they are experiencing. They can learn coping mechanisms and address unsafe or inappropriate behaviors. Effective communication and boundaries within the family can help with overall well-being.
Mentors may provide additional support. Support groups for adopted families may be appropriate.
Preventing Adoption Trauma
To minimize adoption trauma, parents can be open with their children about their history and the adoption. They can learn about the child’s culture. Ensuring that the child’s basic needs are met including physical needs and emotional attachment can help the child adjust. Seeking help as needed can further help the child as they grow.
Supporting Healing and Growth in Adopted Children
Adoption can help a child thrive. Supporting healing and growth in your adopted child can help them respond to trauma and build interpersonal skills.
Contact an Experienced Florida Adoption Expert
Gulf Coast Adoptions helps people with adoptions. Contact us about your case.